How to Talk to Your Spouse about Money

by Erica Starr 11. February 2015

Money in Marriage

They say that money can’t buy happiness. While that may be true, the topic of finances in relationships can often be the pace car in how far your relationship is going to sail or not sail into the sunset.

“Money problems” is still a front runner in the leading causes of divorce in the United States and has remained there for decades. A 2009 study found that couples who disagree over money once a week are 30% more likely to part ways than couples who have those same disagreements once a month. Knowing this, shouldn’t the “money talk” be a top priority for couples to have BEFORE taking the leap into marriage? Of course it should. That said, most people would rather go to the dentist every day for a year than divulge their financial bad habits.

Why you ask? Good question. Just like the visits to the dentist, 9 times out of 10 it ends up never being as bad as you thought it was going to be. Regardless of how much you hate the dentist, you know it’s something that you have to do. Having the money talk with your spouse should also be at the very top of your list of things you HAVE to do.

When you are ready to talk to spouse about money, here are a few tips to help you and your spouse get on the same page (read: a lot of Novocain or laughing gas in my dentist comparison).

Full Disclosure

You have to be completely open and honest with your spouse about your financial history and spending habits. They’ve voluntarily married you for better or for worse and that includes divulging any financial skeletons that either of you may have hiding in your closet. Ideally, there aren’t any post-marriage skeletons as this talk should happen before you say “I Do.” Once both of you are looking at your financial landscape with eyes wide open, it’s much easier to discuss future plans and tactics to reach your financial goals.

Goals - Make Them and Talk about Them

Before you can make an effective financial plan, you have to both agree on your end goals. You can each have your own personal goals, but there should be at least one overarching goal for your family budget. Be it paying off old debt or saving to put a down payment on a house, sharing similar goals can be very effective in building comradery and a teamwork approach as you make progress.


Most people get their financial personality from their parents. How they were raised to think about spending and saving often plays a big role in how they themselves will handle their finances. Even if you don’t agree with everything that you hear, having a talk about each other’s financial upbringing can bring a lot of perspective and understanding into the mix and perhaps help you avoid future arguments.

Set Up a Monthly Coffee Date (Reoccurring Account Review)

Okay it really isn’t a date but it’s a great way to make you think about a monthly financial planning session. See, coffee date sounds much better doesn’t it? Whether it’s at your local Starbucks or if it’s at your kitchen table, you and your spouse should set aside a mandatory reoccurring time to go through all of your finances and make sure you are still on track to reach your goals. Financial aggregators or Personal Finance Managers (PFMs) like Mariner360 are great free tools to use to give you an extremely accurate snapshot of where your money is actually going. (Personal Disclaimer: This can be an extremely scary process. No one should spend that much money on lattes in one year.) These PFMs also can help you both set up budgets and send you alerts when there has been unusual spending or you’re getting close to going over your preselected budget.

Don’t Judge, Don’t be Controlling, and Be Supportive

You are not going to agree on 100% of your goals. You’re most certainly not going to 100% agree on some of the past actions that may have put you or your spouse in a less than ideal financial situation. And that is 100% okay. If you start to go down the path of being overly controlling and placing blame when things get rocky, resentment could soon show its ugly face. As with most things in a marriage, it’s important to always aim to be supportive and not judge one another. As long as you both agree to pursue your joint goals together before pursing your personal goals, everyone will win.


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How to Find the Perfect Checking Account

by Andrew Schreiber 10. February 2015

Perfect Checking Account

In today’s banking world there are many variations of a simple checking account that offer different features and benefits. Most of the time you rely heavily on your bank’s recommendation as to what account works best for you, or you just default to the account that has the least amount of requirements. However, defaulting to the product with the least amount of requirements could be detrimental to you as a customer. You might be eligible for interest on your balances, free ATMs, free checks, etc. The following questions can help guide you to the best product for you:

Will you have a direct deposit into your checking account?

Having a direct deposit is becoming a more popular requirement of accounts in order to avoid a monthly service charge. The majority of companies offer direct deposit of payroll to their employees. Having a direct deposit is a benefit in and of itself; you don’t have the hassle of going to the bank to deposit your paycheck every payday. The funds transfer right into your account and are available to you that night.

A good account if you have a direct deposit would be our Classic Direct Deposit Checking account.

What is the average balance you keep in your checking account?

Maybe you like to keep some extra money in your checking account in case of emergencies. This extra money could make you eligible for a checking account that has some added benefits. No one knows the balance you keep in your accounts better than yourself.

If you keep extra money in your checking account, look for a high balance checking account you might be eligible for. Here at 1st Mariner you might fit into our 1st Select Checking account.

Will you be opening additional relationships with the bank?

Many bank customers have more than just a checking account with their bank. They have a checking account, a savings account, maybe a CD, or even a money market account. If you have a variety of products with your bank you could be eligible for a product that takes that into consideration. Take your entire relationship into consideration when you select a checking account because you may be eligible for a checking account with more features if you have other accounts with the bank.

Here at 1st Mariner Bank, if you have a minimum relationship balance of $10,000 you would be eligible for our Premier Relationship Checking account.

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The Bank of Mom and Dad: When to Shut It Down

by Sara Seeger 5. February 2015

Locked Bank

No formal application, no interest, and no credit history check- sounds like a pretty sweet deal, right? In most cases, this describes the Bank of Mom and Dad. Too often, parents are left in a financial dilemma by giving out zero interest loans to their children, or in some cases, just giving out free money.

As parents, you want to give your children the world and help them through all stages of life. Ultimately, there comes a time when the support you give your kids needs to shift from financial to emotional support. This begs the question, when do you shut down the “Bank of Mom and Dad?”

Communicate Clearly

Children returning home after college or continuing to live at home through college is very common. However, parents should first have a discussion with each other about the feasibility of this, and then have a chat with their child. Communication has to be clear and expectations laid out, to ensure your child is clear on how much financial support will be provided and for what time frame.

Charge Rent...Or Insist on Contributions

Charing rent is beneficial in covering the increased cost of having your child live back at home. It's also a good way to teach your child about budgeting in order to prepare them to be self-sufficient in the real world. If parents don’t need the extra cash financially, another option would be to keep all of that “rent” money in an account and hand it over once your child moves out to help them get their independent life started.

If rent isn’t practicable for your child to afford, insist on other contributions to the house, such as covering some extra groceries or utility bills. If your child is struggling to find employment, assert that they need to help with chores around the house, such as cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning, etc.

Your Retirement Fund is Yours

People nearing retirement shouldn’t feel obliged to take from their own savings or retirement fund for their adult child. Although this may seem harsh, there comes a point where parents shouldn’t hinder their own retirement plans to help their children.

Education is Key

Instead of just providing for your child while they are home, consider teaching them some important financial lessons. Some important lessons any dependent young adult needs to learn are how to save, how to set a budget, how to build or rebuild their credit score, how to avoid debt, and why it is important to plan early for retirement.

Most importantly, remember there is no “one size fits all” solution. Every family has their own financial and emotional circumstances that come first. The main point for parents is to do what you can to help your child become financially independent, without harming your ability to retire.

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